Do you have a dream, but…? I asked this fairly misconstruing question to a lady acquaintance of mine. I had been working with Marsha for a few weeks and we had developed a friendly relationship. However, I noticed she seemed very depressed on most days. She was very melancholy and made it no secret that she hated her job.
I had tried many times to explain to her that we do not become happy because of what we have (job, money, car), but because of who we become. I told her that stagnation fosters depression and that forward motion and growth fosters happiness. I told her she needed to work on building herself and her life up. It was to no avail.
So, that’s when I asked her the seemingly inappropriate question: “Do you have a dream, but…?” Of course, her initial response was skepticism and uncertainty… so she made me repeat – and again I uttered, “Do you have a dream, but…?”; intentionally pausing between dream and but, just for emphasis this time. She got it. She smiled. Then, she lowered her gaze, and sheepishly said, “I used to. But then life happened, and here I am.”
Many of us can identify with Marsha’s response. Many of us used to have hopes and dreams, BUT then life happened – and here we are. We end up accepting our lives instead of leading our lives. Like the kid who learns to ride a bike and falls down. Frustrated, he kicks his bike when he gets back up and screams “lousy bike!” The bike is not the problem – he is, or rather, his lack of self awareness, self-control, and experience. Many times, we likewise fall off our dreams because of trials, failures, and disappointments. We get back up and scream at life. Instead, we need to get back on our dreams and give it another go.
So, do YOU have a dream, BUT…? If you do, make sure you are not acting like a perfect ass in the process (pun intended). Dare to dream again, no ‘if’, ‘and’ or ‘BUT’s about it.